


sky-blue

by asdfgjkl



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Angst, F/M, post S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3612876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfgjkl/pseuds/asdfgjkl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's how Akane soldiers through everything. It's how she forces herself to go back to the place where Kogami's memories ring the loudest, day after day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sky-blue

"You know that's bad for your health, Inspector."

Akane blinked. It felt like at least ten minutes had elapsed since she hurried out of the office in a sudden, inspired rush of frustration. The new criminals were just as bad as watching the drones clear up three desks to make space for newcomers, and then forcing herself to smile and skirt around them as she tried to adjust to the view of a room without Ginoza beside her and Kogami, Kagari and Masaoka before her.

Had Ginoza been standing beside her all that time?

From the looks of his windswept hair, yes. Akane allowed herself a small smile as she stopped fiddling with the sky-blue packet in her hands and turned to face him. She hadn't expected anyone to chase after her anymore, not after the three of them left. It's a nice, kind surprise to realize that he would.

"I know," she answered.

He growled at the simple statement, and Akane knew what he would say before the words even made it out of his mouth: "This is all his fault."

Of course it was, but Akane didn't see how pointing fingers would do either of them good, so she let the accusation go. She slipped in the chewed end of a smoke held between two pale fingers and inhaled, though with much difficulty; the cigarette's imperfect shape an impedance to the nicotine's passage.

"Ginoza-san," she started instead, "are you thinking of--?"

He scoffed.

She understood - she would've scoffed right along if that question had been directed at her.

These days, time was separated by a fine line of  _before_  and  _after_. The day after Makishima's death, when everyone had gathered in the office and mourned in their little way - Yayoi with Shion; Akane and Ginoza typing away behind desks - they had reached an unsaid consensus:  _before_  consisted of cheshire grins, plushies, classic detective coats and Kogami.  _A_ _fter_  didn't.

Akane wasn't sure she had ever stopped thinking about  _before_ , and, as she cocked her head to the side and traced the space where Ginoza's glasses used to be with her eyes, she wasn't sure Ginoza ever did too.

It must be worse for Ginoza, Akane thought, considering who Masaoka was to him. Akane had to laugh when she discovered their relationship at the funeral. She didn't know if it was the memory of a conversation in a moody room or how young Ginoza had looked when she found him bent over his father's cold body that compelled her to burst out into manic chuckling in her car, but as her fingers curled needlessly around the steering wheel and her eyes leaked tears she didn't think was for Masaoka, there was, undeniably, an almost psychotic-sounding noise coming out from her throat.

"Are  _you_?" he retorted, leaving Akane with a feeling of protectiveness at how he's starting to ask questions and pursue her into sunlit balconies, where her guard's been coaxed down so many times she's lost count. She smiled again. It's weird; he's supposed to be superior in terms of age and experience, and yet here she was with the higher rank. 

Akane didn't humor him with a reply, electing to turn on her heels and leave, stopping by the sliding doors for a moment to put out her cigarette against the concave top of a trash bin. "Come on," she said. "We've got work to do." 

Ginoza didn't humor her with an acknowledgment of her order either, but he followed her back in.

*

Candy greeted her with its typical, holographic smile. By reflex, the muscles around Akane's mouth twitched into an upward curve, smiling back. 

"Candy-chan," she said as she unlocked the bathroom door and started stripping, her brisk movements looking like she wanted to tear her weary restlessness along with her clothes, "for dinner tonight I'd like," a pause as Akane thought of the last time she ate and actually tasted the difference between Chinese and Mexican, "sushi. Whatever calories you see fit."

The pink octopus gave a joyful assent before vanishing and leaving Akane alone, though it wasn't like she minded the lack of company. It was how she felt most of the day.

*

After the bath she had watched television. The Ministry of Welfare uploaded two recommended videos the perfect citizen in her felt impelled to watch, though Akane wasn't shocked when she found herself untouched by the videos' content. Everything she needed to know about Welfare, she already learned in that one trip down to where Kagari met his end.

She shifted, rumpling the white sheet beneath her. Sometimes, when she laid on her side like this, Akane imagined strong arms coming around to hug her waist. They would feel like android-muscle, but she trusted them to be gentle with her - these bloodstained hands capable of leaving a cigarette unscathed as it held them between two fingers.

The regret at having failed to stop him from shooting Makishima would usually settle in after her wishful thinking, but tonight Akane was having none of that. She shook her head vigorously, as if that would keep her musings on  _before_  and a person from  _before_  at bay. 

Tonight, she was resolute to get some sleep.

*

Her alarm rang at 8:15am. As usual, Candy's eternally smiling voice was there to wake her up. Also as usual,  _after_ , she was already awake.

Her eyes had been staring soullessly at the white ceiling for what felt like eons. She knew she was developing unsightly eye-bags and Shion had been looking at her like she was going to personally put Akane to sleep in less than favorable ways for marring her own beauty, but what could she do about it? 

Akane took a shower and ordered breakfast and put on her black suit and climbed into her car and what could she do about it? 

She had to hand in the letter Kogami left her, and the dog tag, because they were precious evidence in the case of a missing Enforcer - as if having to let go of the person himself wasn't bad enough -  _but what could she do about it_?

The car spotted a vacant lot and parked itself right into it. She remembered him in the passenger seat, in the driver's seat. She remembered his head almost hitting the roof, his presence too large for this small space to contain. Akane buried her head in the crook of an elbow resting on curled up knees.  

If he was here, he'd probably be giving her advice. It would probably be in the form of some philosophical quote only Makishima understood, or it might actually be an offering of his own words, accompanied by the small smile he was more inclined to present around her. 

 _This is what you could do_ , he might say.  _Live_. 

She'd argue with him for a bit. She'd say this and he'd answer that; she'd say it wasn't very sound advice and he'd reason. And he would win. 

Finally, she'd admit her long predicted defeat. She'd sigh and press into the headrest, willing herself to disappear. She'd flick her gaze to see he wasn't really there. She'd turn off the ignition and pull out the car key and take a deep breath.

Inspector Tsunemori Akane would raise her head and exit the car, eyes sharp and aware, ready for duty.

She'd live.

**Author's Note:**

> Just finished S1 last night, which meant I had to go on Tumblr and look at stuff about the UNSUBBED MOVIE OH GOD WHY and other things that got me depressed, like stupidly shippy or sad pictures. Ohhh and I might've watched that last conversation video, which killed me, I dunno, thrice?
> 
> Anyway, hope this 1k thing did something for you because it definitely failed in relieving my depression lol.


End file.
